His Mistakes.

It has always been da way i learn the right way to do things in life. by my own mistakes. Everyone has their own way of learning what is right or wrong. i found that the most effective for me was through my own mistakes. Although many have said that it is best to learn from other people's mistakes... What if you knew no other? you will then have to experience making the mistake first hand. It is the most effective way i learn because the experience of what went on/through when the mistake was done is almost unforgettable. and because of this i learn from it. i'm not saying its unforgettable because it is a nice memory - it is very well a mistake - and so it isn't.

for a sensitive person like me - when i do something wrong, i realised that i've did wrong later on - i will feel guilty. guilty to the point sometimes i even hate myself for allowing myself do such things. Talk about Depression -

Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.

it is that one state of mind where you as a human just don't follow the human naturalistic ways of survival/surviving. For instance, inability to eat when you're hungry or sleeping when you're actually really tired/exhausted. in fact, i do go through that state for some period of time prior to feeling guilty over a mistake done. More often in relationships. Even the smallest mistakes - or which may seem small, isn't actually small in relationships because to tell you the truth, small details can also make or break your relationship with someone.

Details matter. and because i'm so obsessed in trying to be as good as i can in relationship - it matters more to me. It hurts me when i realise I have made a mistake. Sometimes even more than you can imagine. But how am I to avoid it? because i am to always realise my own mistakes after it is done. If only i had a conscience that would tell me ahead of time that by doing so, you will make a mistake later on - and will feel awfully guilty about it. i only wish there were such things. I curse myself for doing wrong. i'd be lying to myself if i said i wasn't telling the truth about cursing myself because I DO but only when I've done something wrong.

And I hope and Pray that i will never again repeat the same mistakes over. Only with time i will truly know whether i have learnt from those mistakes.


-Core